Hey there…it’s been awhile hasn’t it?  Self care has NOT been in our routine, which is usually when writing came to me, writing is self-care for me.  To be honest I’ve thought long and hard whether or not I want to keep this blog site open.  Our renewal just came up…I truly thought of cancelling.  But I’ve always used this site as an honest look into what our lives are, without exploiting our family’s story.

Truth be told…I’m tired.  

Weary.

And I’m not looking for sympathy…

As an educator I had the privilege of listening to Cornelius Minor speak the other week, and it’s the first time in a long time I felt heard.  He talked about SO many things that were relevant to my life.  And it made me think how many people are not feeling heard and seen during these bizarre and turbulent times. There are other people who are living their best lives not caring who, how, when or why people are getting sick and/or disproportionately impacted by the mass inequality that has continued to plague our society .   Must be nice to be in the latter…

Legitimately I don’t know what I want this site to look like now, but I do know it won’t look like a “warm fuzzy” adoption story.  And it sure won’t be telling our kids’ stories.  Because their stories are theirs.  So where are we now? 

We are in a weird, but beautiful space.  We became a family in a God-forsaken pandemic.  Yeah, the time in isolation allowed for a time of deeper attachment, but let’s lay it out there…our situation is not normal.  My kids are learning what family means and so are we.  That point is beside any additional pandemic or circumstances.   With family members immunocompromised and aging, we choose to live our lives differently than others (more careful, more calculated…because it isn’t just the flu).  We’ve made decisions to keep us ALL as safe as possible, which means our lives look different.  I would love to give my children everything they have never had…guess what? That’s not our reality.   We are thankful to all those who pour into our children’s lives each and every day…what you do makes a HUGE difference.  

Let’s talk about the second (and first) pandemic affecting America.  We will talk about it because it is real in our and our childrens’ lives.  White supremacy is a real thing.  Honestly, I’m thankful for what this last year has revealed…I know exactly where certain  friends and family stand.  Ever hear the phrase, “Either you are for me or against me?”  Either you are for my kids and their Blackness or your are against it.  I’m at a point in my journey to become (and I say become, because I know I’m not there yet) anti-racist where I REFUSE to placate to uncomfortabilty.  So, no excuses.  I don’t care that “you don’t see color,” because you should.  Or that everyone “should be treated equal,” should they…let’s define equal.  Happy to learn alongside those who will listen.  Not HEAR me, actually listen.

We also need to learn from those who are willing to teach.

I will no longer sit silently in the face of “controversial conversations”.  

Black Lives Mattering is not controversial

Recognizing the systemic racism that plagues this country is not controversial

To call out the WORST president this nation has seen is not controversial

To show the hurt and damage that has been done by silencing “controversial” conversations is long overdue.  

So where will Simplexity319 be now?

It will show the intense beauty and love for this family I was blessed with, and for ALL people in this country, but it will not dim the conversations that are important.  

~Chelsea