It has been a LONG time since we blogged last…so bear with me, this may be a tad long and a bit ranty.  To catch you up…our lives have continued to become more and more simplex.  Over four months ago our family grew from two to four.  We are now parenting two beautiful children–a 13 and 10 year old.  It has been a huge adjustment.  I mean how could it not be? We are new parents.  But let’s place the focus on who and where it needs to be–them.  It has been a massive adjustment for them.  We still hear how “blessed” they are, how “lucky” they are to have parents like us.  And although we know the sentiment comes from a good place, it isn’t helpful.  They aren’t lucky or blessed.  We chose this life for ourselves.  They had no choice in anything. We selfishly wanted to parent older children.  So, we are blessed.  We are lucky.  And I remind myself of that every day.

But it has been a huge adjustment.  Strangers coming together.  Getting to know one another.  Figuring out how to be oneself rather than an expectation of what the other would like us to be.  It goes both ways.  

Over the months we’ve experienced a full out Wisconsin winter.  Boy, is that hard with kids! We’ve gotten down the school routine.  That’s different doing back to school shopping in January.  We’ve learned likes and dislikes.  Bedtime routines.  Clothing sizes.  Hair care.  The learning has been mind blowing.  

We’ve also experienced and are experiencing a global pandemic.  No shit…who would have thought that three months into our parenting journey we’d be learning to parent in a pandemic.  It has been wild.  This #saferathome has really afforded our family some unique opportunities.  We’ve gotten to know each other so much better.  Our focus has not been on outside distractions but rather on how to get through this with as many smiles and as few tears as possible.  Each day has honestly been a massive rollercoaster–with a crazy amount of highs and some pretty steep drops.  Eli has worked over 40 days straight. We’ve had some amazing hikes and outdoor experiences. I am a public school educator who is navigating crisis education for not only my students, but now my kids. Our kids have shown tremendous growth and resiliency.

What it’s also allowed me to do is to seriously reflect.  

On family.

Society.

Education.

Things I want to say.

I haven’t been writing in a while because honestly I didn’t know where to start.  There have been so many things on my mind that I haven’t been quite sure how to organize them.  So I’ll leave a few thoughts here and hopefully reflect on them more deeply in future posts.

Now is the time to love one another more. But I hesitate posting statements like this. Because I think it conveys the message of rainbows, unicorns, and blind positivity. This does not mean that you should refrain from having tough conversations.  That is love.  This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be “political” when it means neglecting the value of human life.  That is love.  This doesn’t mean you should just “preach love” and ignore what is happening in this world.  That is love.  It means to walk the walk.  Give more.  Think of the person in the house, the city, the state next to you. 

Sometimes things aren’t always so gray. Again privilege has insulated me from many things.  But parenting two kids of color has shown me there isn’t always “two sides”.  My kids should not have a mom who is silent or makes excuses in the face of racism, injustice, hatred and bigotry. I am so TIRED of seeing people first try to defend or look at the viewpoint of blatantly inappropriate, racist, disgusting rhetoric with comments like “maybe they didn’t mean it” or “not all…”.  To defend or look at the side of the oppressor is to condone it. Quit making excuses.  Speak out because this isn’t gray.  Take real action.  I have no space for hate in my life.

Physical distancing is bringing us together.  Just like anyone else I could scroll through social media daily and see stories that outrage me.  As a matter of fact, most days I do.  But I also am seeing some of the best that humanity has to offer.  This doesn’t mean we ignore the crap that is going on.  We use the anger from that crap to bring us together.  To commit to another act of selflessness.  Of kindness.  At 7:00 in the streets of NYC you can hear cheers and claps for healthcare workers whose shifts are changing.  People around the world are finding unique and creative ways to stay connected.  Our earth is healing as we stay home.  It’s amazing.  

I could go on and on.  There are so many thoughts running through this mind.  The gist of it?  We are parenting in a damn pandemic.  Trying to speak out.  Loving our neighbors, each other, this planet more. Simplex?  Nah, it’s definitely complex.  

~Chelsea