It’s the beginning of February and even with having 3 snow/cold days last week, I’m beginning to feel drained in my job.  Work has been really difficult lately and more draining than usual—changes throughout the building, teaching adolescent students, continuous paper work, all while meeting everyone’s needs, and might I add that it’s still the dead of winter.

See, I’ve always prided myself on my level of commitment as a teacher. I’ve loved the feeling of being needed—by my school, by my fellow staff members, but most importantly by my students. I can remember many nights planning by the light of my computer an amazing lesson I was so excited to share. I’ve spent countless hours coming up with ways to make my classroom a “safe” space for my students (tonight it involved a Costco run to stock up my very own classroom “store”).  I’ve written small notes, sent positive emails, and spent long hours after school to support both current and former students.  I was destined, made to be a teacher.  

I know I’ve stated many times in previous posts just how much our adoption journey has taught me.  But it never ceases to amaze me how much these amazing lessons have filtered into every aspect of my life.  I’ve learned how to be a better partner, how to check my privilege, how to educate myself on issues and topics that not only will make me a better parent, but a better person in general.  I’ve learned how to remain steadfast.  I’ve developed a little bit of grit and work daily on being a woman with grit and grace. I’ve widened the lens through which I view the world.

And I’ve learned:

My job, my career, is a part of my life, but it is NOT my life.

This has been eye opening for me.  I’m a person who feels things deeply.  As Eli says, my best attribute is my emotional intelligence (I don’t know about all that).  However, I know what it does mean is that when I’m happy and feel successful, I feel it to my very core.  And when I’m stressed and feeling drained I feel it to my very core.  See I’m used to trying to make things happen.  To control the situation.  To fix things.  But a lot of things in life are out of our control—the weather, new administrative changes in a work place, how people react around us, or how long or short adopting children may take. 

What I do know that I control is my response to these outside forces. I can control my reaction, and I control how something makes me feel.  I love being a teacher.  I love feeling needed by my school, by my co-workers, and most importantly by my students.  I choose to focus on those things and to allow that to be a part of my life…because I’ve learned to not let them become my life.  In this adoption journey I’ve learned to prioritize just how much I let things encroach on my life. Such as:

 Being strong in my marriage, so that I can remain steadfast for building my family. 

Being knowledgeable and educated so that I can be an advocate, for not only my future children, but for many people where privilege may not always be afforded.

Being a woman who wakes up every day who tries to exhibit grit and grace (some days are better than others).

And I’m still working on it, but doing the very best that I can as a teacher within my job while not allowing it to be my life.

The dictionary definition of identity is the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. Isn’t that amazing? We can allow many things to become a part of our identity, but they don’t have to be our identity. The simplex thing is our identity is what we choose to make it.

~Chelsea