I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I feel fully empowered, but as I continue to walk this fine line of womanhood and motherhood it never ceases to amaze me how much societal pressure likes to put us into clean cut and easy categories.

I’ve hit a realization recently that I never really “cared”—and I use that term loosely—to “bear” a child. And I know that’s really difficult for some of you to believe. But honestly, biological children or raising a child from infancy has never really “meant” all that much to me even prior to two miscarriages (I know that may seem shocking). And I don’t mean that to sound dismissive. But you know what has meant a lot to me? The pressure that society has made me feel that my womanhood, my motherhood was contingent on birthing a baby or raising an infant. Now, please, don’t get it twisted or feel bad. I feel completely different now—and 100% happy, thrilled, at peace with where I am now. But let’s face it—even in my 30’s I sometimes feel that societal pressure.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I currently do not have any children but I already feel the fierce “Mama Bear” protectiveness for my family’s journey and my children’s story. It is this innate maternal instinct and it radiates my body in a way that is truly magical because I have no biology attached to it. What has created it has been the hunger for knowledge, an eye opening awareness even when it’s painful because I know it’s not about me, and a peace that I am exactly where I am supposed to be even though I know that my future children are coming to me in the least “peaceful” way possible.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

Bottom line—I am so at peace right at this moment being a Mama Bear even before motherhood has been chosen for me. And no one has gotten me here except for the grace of God, my faith, and the amazing partnership I have in Eli. Motherhood—it’s pretty simplex when you really think about it.

 

~Chelsea