As I type this I’m struggling with the adjectives to use to describe this amazing, heart wrenching, humbling experience we have been on.

As of today, this afternoon actually, we have completed all of the necessary elements to finishing up our home study. Now our social worker will work to write up a 30-40 page document on us, and our home study should be “official” the first or second week of July. We will start the process of inquiring on children around that time.

I can’t believe we are here.

Years ago when we started this journey, and yes, it has been years, I never fathomed that I would know what I know now. That I would feel what I feel now. I am thankful for it, but I now, due to our experiences and the time we’ve waited, understand the gravity of it.

I am eager to build my family. Yes, I think eager is the right word. To say I’m excited feels dismissive of the reasons why my children are coming to me. Think about it. My children are coming to me because their first parents were unable to care for them whether that is due to their choices, lack of resources, or a broken system that doesn’t help out families enough. To say I’m so excited to adopt my children due to these circumstances feels a little wrong. And it is always very important to me to acknowledge and embrace my children’s story.

So to my future children:

• You never need to feel thankful or grateful for us. We are the fortunate ones.
• We will do everything within our power to protect you, whether that be from awkward questions, long stares, derogatory comments, anything.
• Your story is just that—yours. It isn’t anyone else’s business, and we will respect your story.
• Things may not always be easy, and you may be scared when you first come to us, but we will do anything and everything within our power to meet your needs, needs that maybe weren’t always met, and to gain your trust.
• We can take care of and will work through anything you bring. No problem will be too big.
• Our love will be for always and forever.

So friends, family, and followers, as we head down the next leg of this journey we continue to ask for well wishes, support, prayers, and education. We are here to answer questions, and by no means do we expect you to know it all. Now is the time to ask because we are hoping we will be busy, busy, busy creating a family unit with the children that come to us in the near future. It may be simplex, but it is our story.

~Chelsea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are living in a day and age where people’s thoughts, opinions, experiences, documentation can be found within mere minutes via social media. We are surrounded by images and mottos of what we should do, what we shouldn’t do, what others feel is right and wrong, and everything in between. As a woman living in 2018, it can be difficult to navigate what womanhood should look like. This isn’t a sob blog post nor is it a scolding one. It’s food for thought and a means to honor and celebrate the very essence of what it means to be a woman.

I’m going to throw out a super radical notion for women—what would you feel like if society celebrated and appreciated all aspects of womanhood and not just some?

I am a woman…

And I will never breastfeed a baby at home or in public or wherever. And that is just fine.

I am a woman…

And even in a society who so greatly celebrates men (specifically white men), I still would choose to be a woman any day.

I am a woman…

And I wasn’t even sure that I wanted children (biologically, adopted, etc.) until I was in my 30s. And guess what, some days relinquishing control over my life to children still scares the shit out of me.

I am a woman…

And I am in a career that is still female dominated but my salary is still less than that of a man.

I am a woman…

And I will not carry on my bloodline. My children will not have my freckles across their nose or my slight features. And I’m fine with that, but I appreciate how hard it will be on my future children and for society to accept our differences.

I am a woman…

And I won’t experience a colicky baby or staying up all night due to feedings and infant cries.

I am a woman…

And I love to celebrate, communicate with, and embrace the strong women in my life.

I am a woman…

And my body isn’t and won’t be a “vessel” for human life and it is still worthy and a miracle.

I am a woman…

And although I’m choosing not to have biological children, I don’t have to feel sad about it. Although society really can’t seem to understand that.

I am a woman…

And I recognize that although being a woman is hard, it is that much more difficult for a woman of color and women of color deserve to be acknowledged, celebrated, and embraced for their womanhood as well.

I am a woman…

And I am tired that sometimes the only acknowledgement women get is through motherhood or marriage. This takes away from the women who have poured their heart and soul into a career they have always dreamt of. It takes away from the woman whose world is her playground and for her, children or a husband don’t fit into a life of travel. It takes away from the woman who desperately wants biological children but can’t have them and the woman who desperately would love to find her soul mate but hasn’t yet. It takes away from women who aren’t apart of the “club” of motherhood or marriage.

I am a woman…

And I believe motherhood can look many different ways. I believe it’s okay for a woman to: breastfeed, formula feed, become a mother via embryo adoption, become a mother via adoption, wear a baby in a carrier, feed only organic food, feed the best food one can afford, and do whatever she deems necessary and in the best interest of her family.

I AM A WOMAN…

And it is about damn time that we start to include all women in this “sisterhood” of womanhood.

Bottom line, I’m proud to be a woman. And I plan to celebrate my womanhood by embracing other women for all the wonderful things that make them a woman—for motherhood, for marriage, for their intelligence, for their courageousness, for their ability to dominate male dominated careers, for their willingness to stay home and raise their children, for their ability to stand in their own fierceness, for traveling the world and experiencing other cultures, for being them.

 

Being a woman is simplex.

~Chelsea