Thankfulness, gratitude, contentment. These should be felt and exemplified with more than just one day. I mean, let’s face it, do we really need a day that was really about the exploitation of America’s native people to remind us that we should be thankful for what we have?

The last few years have been some of the most monumental, humbling, raw, amazing, trying, growing, difficult years of our lives. Not just for me personally but for so many people around the country. However, perspective is everything. It is one thing to be thankful. It is one thing to feel blessed. But it is a completely other thing to take action with those feelings. In my personal opinion, thankfulness and blessing without action becomes complacency. It becomes selfishness. It begins and ends with oneself. So how does this relate to adoption? In more ways than you can even imagine.

I can only speak for myself, but when Eli and I first decided to adopt we were over the moon. We couldn’t be more excited to start the journey, tell our friends and family, and plan for our future family. We were thankful. We counted our blessings and trucked along our journey. We enjoyed Thanksgiving, celebrated the birth of our Savior on Christmas, rang in the new year—2016, and had birthdays come and go.

We became more and more humbled as time passed. And as more and more time passed we felt grateful for all the opportunities we had to learn. We took online courses on trauma, we read hundreds and hundreds of articles, we listened to first-hand accounts of adult adoptee’s experiences, we studied transracial adoption and became more involved in issues that challenged our white privilege. We became awoke.

As we became more and more enlightened, we took action. We took action for more than just the betterment of our own situation but for the situations of others. Why? Because we are thankful. Because we are grateful. Because the recognition of what we have should make us take that and positively impact the world around ourselves.

So, by all means, there is nothing wrong with taking a day of the year to pay extra attention to the things we are thankful for. To appreciate all that we have. But the power of true thanksgiving is the simplexity of what one plans to do with that gratitude.

My plan?

• To provide a voice to the voiceless
• To engage in an adoption process that is ethical and in the true best interest of my children and their first parents
• To keep an open mind and learn
• To call out injustices
• To truly listen
• To use the privilege I have for the betterment of others

What do yo

 

u vow to do with your gratitude?

~Chelsea

 

 

 

 

 

We are moving in the right direction. Some decisions have been made. Emails have been sent. Heck, we have a set of bunk beds in our guest room. We aren’t sure where our journey will now take us, but we have faith that it is where we are meant to be, and have a sense of contentment and joy surrounding that.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but Eli and I are constantly on the go. It’s hard for us to sit idle for too long. We like to do—stuff. Whether it’s checking out a great brewery, starting a new house project, grading papers, helping out family, visiting great friends, we are always in constant motion. We try to live our life fully, and what a great life to live. This is great, and don’t get us wrong, we are incredibly thankful that we are blessed with a life that allows us to do these things. We are fully aware of that.

I look out my window and am still expecting to see lush green trees and hear the laughter of kids at summer camp. Reality is the leaves have already fallen, clocks have changed, and Thanksgiving is around the corner.

One area, however, that we do fall short in is self-care. The concept of self-care applies to all people and all families but has become super vital within our lives. And let’s just face it, we suck at it. Eli and I tend to be pretty self-sufficient. We share a lot of our lives and our journey, but when it comes to the nitty-gritty stuff, we work through it, we learn from it, and we push on. I’m proud of our resiliency, but we hit points where we deplete our tank. There is only so much we can do. There are only so many obligations we can fill, so many phone calls to make, so many resources we can exhaust, so many places we can be. We want to do it all. And guess what, we are realizing that we can only run for so long until the tank is empty.

So because Eli and I are doers we need some kind of action to fix this “depletion” we are feeling. But where do we go? What do we cut back on? What obligation do we not fulfill? What relationship do we not nurture? How do you set priorities in your life for things that are all really important?

The big question is: what do you do when you’re very content, happy with decisions you’re making, but feel depleted? You take on the simplex task of personal introspection and figure out which areas of your life can give a little without having to give them up. How can we learn bamboo resilience–bending but not breaking?

~Chelsea