I couldn’t believe what I was watching. I sat in awe in front of the television wondering how in the world I could be watching Nazi salutes, white supremacy, swastikas, and people justifying it. And as it unfolded in front of America’s eyes and mine it got worse and worse and worse—people being run over, lack of leadership and lack of condemnation by leaders, and people still justifying. I scoured over articles and looked at people’s comments, and people were still justifying it. Do you hear that? Let me say it again—PEOPLE ARE STILL JUSTIFYING IT. My eyes are open, and I feel sad.

You may wonder what in the world this has to do with Eli and I adopting a child or children. Well, let me tell you. It has everything to do with us adopting, with us living, with our day-to-day tasks, with who I am as an individual. Let me tell you what I’ve learned about white privilege and racism as I have ventured down this path called adoption. Early in our journey to adopt we decided that we would most definitely be open to a transracial adoption. You may wonder why someone wouldn’t be open. Well, there are many reasons—lack of resources to strongly support the child/children’s culture, lack of representation in community of child/children’s culture and racial background, fear, among other things. When we decided to be open to transracial adoption it wasn’t because we thought we had all the answers. It was because we knew we had very few, but we were willing to do everything possible to educate ourselves. And our waiting game has allowed us to do just that.

I’ve always considered myself a person who is open to all people regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, religious views, etc. But I don’t think I’ve ever really taken a good, hard look at my own white privilege. Throughout my life I’ve stood up against and been vocal about blatant racism—racial slurs, jokes, etc. In the last year I’ve found myself thinking things like:

If I had a child of color I would comment on someone talking about being colorblind to race. To not see color is to not recognize differences. The differences are okay; the biases to those differences are not.

If I had a child of color I would comment on someone talking about “those people” and “people like them” when talking about individuals of color living in high crime, impoverished areas.

If I had a child of color I would be sure to attend more diverse experiences and meet people of all different races, backgrounds, etc.

If I had a child of color I would be even more active in confronting racism, bigotry, and hate by protesting, speaking out, and leading by example.

Do you know what’s wrong with this? The “if I had a child of color…then I would…”.This couldn’t exemplify any more my own white privilege. It should not take me entertaining adopting a child of color to think this way. I should, I NEED to be reacting this way all of the time. Because let’s face it, this is the very mentality that many white people have when discussing their thinking, actions, and views towards race. This is why we are where we are right now. I am a part of the problem, and as scary as it is for me to say it, my guess is so are you. We can’t wait to learn and open our eyes to what has been alive in America for much longer than we would like to admit…it is sadly tightly woven into the very fibers of this country that I love so much. And it makes my heart ache.

We have got to stop turning a blind eye to things that are difficult to see. It’s like a child covering his or her eyes and thinking that because they can’t see anything, no one can see them. I’ve always wondered what I would do in Nazi Germany during the Holocaust. Would I hide a family? Would I help children? Or what I would have done during the Civil Rights Movement. Would I participate in sit-ins? Would I march for equality even if it came with a risk? Would I close my eyes? Hope it would go away…that someone else would do something? I want to be on the right side of history and when it comes to racism you’re damn right there is a right side—always. Elie Wiesel, a Holocaust survivor, said, “We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

See, it’s as simple as knowing racism is bad, but as complex as standing up and actually doing something about it.

~Chelsea