Every year Eli and I put in a really large garden. I mean REALLY large—tomatoes, lettuce,
onions, cucumbers, brussel sprouts, cucumbers, all the herbs, and so much more. This is the latest that we’ve ever put in our garden. Eli is so incredibly planned (and a little dorky) that he has a map of our garden and saves it year to year along with the plant and seed variety that we use. Last year we put in our garden by May 19^th. May 19^th—I mean we are currently like three weeks late, and the funny thing is that we thought we were a little late last year.

Our garden this year fell to the wayside. But yesterday we worked hard. We planted a lot, caught a lot of sun, and I even started a fresh-cut flowerbed (I’m so excited). We are happy that we still committed to planting our garden. It sustains us not just throughout the summer, but also throughout the year. We can, freeze, and share our extras with camp. And besides that it’s something that we get to do together.

Eli and I have been together for, wait for it, 14 years. We are going on 10 years of marriage. And the nurturing of our relationship, our family, has changed over time. See much like our garden this year, there have been times in our lives where other things have taken additional time, but not necessarily precedence. What do I mean by this? I distinctly remember when Eli moved into the role of Program Operations Director at camp. This was a large commitment, and it eventually led to us living on site at camp. During certain seasons it took a lot of Eli’s time, and in return, time away from one another. However, it never took precedence over the nurturing of our relationship. We just had to go about nurturing our relationship in another way. Quick lunch dates on hot summer days or a night sitting out on the dock and talking, even if it was only for a half and hour. Making the decision to expand our family was a large decision that we didn’t take lightly. We researched, had differing viewpoints at times, and talked and talked and talked. Some times, even still now, adoption tends to dominate our discussion. But then we take time just for us, away from the daily demands, the weight of the decisions we are currently faced with or will be faced with, to appreciate what we have. Last night it was panning some gold dirt (I know it’s weird), reading a book, and watching the sunset.

What I’m trying to say is that this idea of nurturing one’s marriage and relationship can apply to any situation, in any family—not just a family pursuing adoption. The definition of nurture is the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something. That definition doesn’t have any stipulations such as difficult times or longer waits or frustration. Nurturing is caring for and encouraging growth and development—there are no ifs, ands, buts, or excepts. See as we’ve continued this journey of adoption we’ve realized how full-circle things truly are. We have to nurture each other, so that we can nurture this journey that we’ve chosen, so that we can nurture our future child/children. Our nurturing of our relationship now, throughout this wait and always, is what has given us a 14 year relationship and 10 year marriage that I’m so proud of. It’s what has strengthened us to not only withstand this difficult journey, but has given us the perspective to rejoice in even the most difficult times.

So this year our garden may have been put in a little late. But that’s okay. As we planted it during the height of yesterday’s heat, we still laughed, sweat a lot, and really, truly enjoyed each other’s company. Now, we will water it a lot these next few days, and nurture these tasty and wonderful plants that will sustain us this summer but symbolically far beyond.

~Chelsea