Woe is me. We’ve had two miscarriages. We’ve had to change agencies. It’s been a long time…I mean a really long time (or at least it’s felt that way). We’ve wrestled with decisions. We aren’t exactly sure of the outcome. Another baby shower to go to or our friends having their second kids and we haven’t even added a child to our family (really, we promise we’re happy for you—just stings a bit). Man, this is rough.

Well, got grit? Show that you can be that gritty girl that you aspire to be. Every experience offers you an opportunity to gain insight and wisdom. Open up your eyes, get tough, and be thankful.

Hello…my name is Chelsea and, yes, I sometimes have pep talks with myself. The fact of the matter is that I know our story can sound a little sad at times. I know that I can get a little weepy, and hey, I definitely know that I’m dramatic. But the honest truth is that I’m happy. No, really…I’m so happy and it doesn’t take all that much to make me happy.

I love watching my husband dance in the kitchen. It makes me laugh. No, I mean it really makes me laugh. You know, those deep belly laughs that make your sides ache. He claims that he can really move his body (now if you know my husband, just imagine that). It’s something else.

I love the mornings in spring when the sun is out and it’s already warm at 7:00, and my sunglasses are on, and I’m belting out my favorite tune.

I love trying new and different types of food and beer. I know it sounds simple, and yes, very Wisconsin, but I LOVE it.

I’m so thankful for the house that I live in. It may seem small to some people, but I love it. I love living on a camp. I love looking out my windows in my living room and seeing the sunset over Amy Belle Lake.

I’m so thankful to have such incredible friends and family. The love and support of the people around us is not only amazing but it feels limitless.

I’m so thankful to be able to express myself through writing.

Honestly, the list could go on and on when thinking of what I love and am thankful for: trees, the right to demonstrate/protest/assemble (those of you that know me know how I feel about activism), my health, my amazing co-workers and students that I get to work with, traveling, and so much more.

But bottom line, I’m thankful for this process. I may need to vent every now and then or get a little weepy, but I am happy and thankful for this process. I’ve needed it. My future family, God willing, will be made through adoption, and although the world looks at adoption through this lens of “how wonderful it is to give a child in need a home” it’s not that simple, nor is it true. This journey has taught me to dig deeper. To look past this privileged life I’ve been given. Adoption will be a blessing, a joy in our life. However, there is loss in adoption. And let’s face it, my road, my journey has been paved in comparison to the loss that many first families (birth parents) and their children, my future child/children experience.

See the simple thing is being happy. The complex thing is being happy but still having your eyes wide-open to the truths and experiences around you. So, as Rend Collective said, “Take me deeper than my feet could every wander, and my faith will be made stronger.”

~Chelsea