Paddle-to-the-Sea

Toby Mac said, “Don’t try to rush things that need time to grow.” When I saw this quote the other night, it stopped me right in my tracks. Patience can be a hard lesson to learn, and as I continue to grow, gain insight, and mature I’m realizing that this isn’t just a virtue you learn and master at one point in your life. It’s a virtue that I know I will continue to work on throughout my life.

Our blog has talked a lot about our back story, our uncertainty, our wait, and at times our confusion. If our adoption path and journey that we are on right now was an iceberg, that stuff would only be the very tip. The tiny part that is visible above the water line. To describe this journey and what it has taught me is difficult. As a matter of fact, any time I really get into it Eli chuckles a bit because I immediately start to choke up and my eyes well up with tears. This isn’t because of sadness but rather overwhelming joy. Joy and hope.

I have learned more in the last 16 months than I ever thought possible. I’m a teacher so, naturally, I really do like to devour information. And that’s what I’ve been doing, but I’ve been doing it differently than ever before. During the start of our process we were both starry eyed, crazily optimistic, and really thought we were well prepared. Now, don’t get me wrong, by no means were we ill-prepared and by no means am I now pessimistic, but I feel so much more aware. I know my journey has taught me that.

I’ve read through countless books, read hundreds upon hundreds of articles, and have researched things up and down. But you want to know what has been the most valuable? Listening. I’ve sat back and listened to people in the adoption community—adoptees, birth parents (first parents), and other adoptive parents.

You see this has been my joy, our joy, in our journey. I have learned so much. My eyes are wide open. My heart is wide open, and I know that I am better for it. Not just for my future child/children, but for myself as a human being. I have the insight now and am developing the patience to do right by my future child/children no matter how difficult or painful it may be for me. I am gaining perspective on some of the hurt and rawness that is left by adoption. Our journey, this time we’ve been waiting, some of the bumps in the road are preparing us, and I am incredibly thankful for that, even though at times it’s painful and hard. You see, before you get calluses you have blisters. The blisters aren’t a bad thing at all. They are making your skin stronger. I don’t know what’s in store for us, but I know that there is much joy to be had in this journey.

~Chelsea